Marriage counseling using games to reduce tension

Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.

How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?

One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.

Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.

Stop being a fool!

What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?

Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?

What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.

Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.

Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.

Games as a Peace Maker:

Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.

Games to Pick From:

Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.

Conclusion:

Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.

Bicycle rims and wheels your bike cant go anywhere without them

The first bicycle wheels were from a horse drawn cart, made of wood with a metal band round the bicycle rim, very hard and very uncomfortable to ride. Then a man called Dunlop (Scottish) invented the pneumatic tire, this along with Macadam (another Scot) inventing the tar road surface made cycling a lot more comfortable.

The bicycle rim, like the bicycle frame hasn’t changed much in design, its still round and always will be. From the first wooden rims the next were made of steel, then alloy and now if you can afford it, carbon. Of all bicycle parts the bicycle rim can make a big difference to how your bike handles. First the weight of your rim affects your sprinting and climbing as the weight will low you down, for a long, flat effort the weight isn’t so important as when you get the wheels rolling the weight can help to keep them going. The shape of the rim can be important also, a flat rim is best for climbing as aerodynamics are not so important on a hill, a deep section, aero, rim will help you cut through the air, but in a cross wind could cause you handling problems.

Bicycle Rims Materials

The different materials used for rims are very important also, steel is heavy and if damaged can be difficult to pull back into shape, but because its so strong it is quite difficult to bend in the first place and steel is cheaper than all the other materials. Alloy is probably the most popular rim, it can be made in any shape and profile, flat or aero, but not too deep as it would then weigh too much, most deep section rims are of a alloy braking section nearest the tire which is then mounted to a carbon deep section for lightness and aerodynamics and a very beautiful looking bicycle rim. As with most things if money is no problem you can go for the best, this would be an all carbon rim, strong and very light, but there are a few problems with these rims, first they don’t brake so well in wet conditions and you must use special brake blocks for carbon and they can be expensive, also the rim has to be perfectly round and not have any bulges in the rim wall as this will make braking quite erratic, carbon is a difficult material to work with and must be well looked after.

Types Of Rim To Consider

There are also two types of rim to consider and this depends on which kind of tire you want to use, first there are tubular tires these are glued on to the bicycle rim, cost more and are difficult to repair after a puncture, but for racing they feel and ride wonderfully. Clincher tires have improved a lot recently and are nearly as good as tubulars for performance and are easily repairable and more reasonably priced. Most manufacturers make all styles in both systems.

So which should I buy? Not an easy answer, as there is so much to choose from, years ago you went to your local bike shop, picked out which hubs, spokes and rims you wanted and he would build your wheels, but now most rim makers also manufacture there own wheel sets, Mavic, Shimano and Campagnolo are probably the best known, check out there web-sites for all there new goodies, there are other brands and if you go to your local cycle shop or look in the bike magazines you’ll find them. There is a lot to choose form, but they are all round.

Hello from toronto - part 6 - the toronto international dragonboat festival 2006

One of my favourite spots in Toronto is the Toronto Islands, that lovely patch of land right in front of downtown Toronto, separated by just a sliver of water. So close, yet so far from the city's hustle and bustle. One of the biggest events on the Islands is the Toronto Dragonboat Festival, a family event organized by the Toronto Chinese Business Association. In addition to being a great entertainment event, the Dragonboat Festival is also a big fundraiser for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, so it’s not just fun, it’s also for a good cause.

So two days ago I headed off down to the waterfront and took the ferry across to Centre Island. At 10 am when I left things were still fairly quiet and the line-ups hadn’t started yet. People with bicycles, strollers, coolers on wheels, all equipped for a full day on the Island, were making the trek across the bay to enjoy the excitement of the Dragonboat Race and to bask in the serenity of this island sanctuary.

The ride on the ferry affords absolutely the best view of Toronto’s skyline and at $6 return it is one of the most affordable sight-seeing options in Toronto. All the skyscrapers, the CN Tower, the round shell of the Skydome (now called the Rogers Centre) and the outline of the historic Royal York Hotel come into focus when you look back at the city. Toronto’s skyline is one of the most recognizable images in the world.

After a fifteen minute ride I set foot at the ferry dock on Centre Island and started walking towards the so-called Alan A. Lamport Regatta Course, a stretch of water frequently used for rowing events of different kinds. People had already set themselves up all over the lawn, ready for a picnic. Onlookers were following the races. A food court was set up where various vendors sold different types of Oriental delicacies and the Multicultural Village provided cultural displays, arts and crafts demonstrations, as well as various activities for children. One of the stands had an amazing assortment of folded paper crafts including some beautiful decorative dragonboats. The lady at the stand told me it takes her a whole day to craft some of these masterpieces.

A real dragon boat actually is a long and narrow boat, powered by paddlers, and the boat is usually adorned by decorative Chinese dragon heads and tails. Usually a dragon boat will have a crew of about 22 people, with one drummer or caller facing the paddlers, and one steerer at the rear of the boat. Dragon boats are thought to have come into existence more than 2500 years ago in south central China and have a long history in Chinese rituals and celebrations.

The races had already started at about 8 am Saturday morning. Dragon boat racers were coming down the water channel, 6 boats at a time, in the qualifying heats for the finals. This year there were about 6,000 paddlers competing over two days. About 200 teams participated in more than 100 races over this past weekend and teams came from all walks of life: banks, community groups, colleges, universities and other educational institutions, hospitals, technology and pharmaceutical companies and many more.

I strolled past the grandstand and past Centreville, Toronto Islands’ amusement park, over the bridge to the other side of the race course with the intent to connect with some dragon boat teams. The first team I ran into was a group of high school principals and vice principals that get together every year to participate in the race and raise some funds for breast cancer. These educators were a very welcoming and enthusiastic bunch, and started chatting with me. Their coach Glen gave me further background about their training routine. He explained that around February the whole team goes out to public swimming pools and starts stationary paddling. Then around April they actually get into the water near Ontario Place and train twice a week. Some teams train as many as five or even eight times a week. Glen and his friends indicated that dragonboating is a supreme stress buster, providing welcome relief from the pressures of the classroom.

One of his team members indicated that I should definitely catch one of the most interesting teams in the race: a team of breast cancer survivors. So I started hunting in search of this team and I walked into the “Athlete’s Village” which had a variety of tents set up for the convenience of the athletes.

Finally I found the team, "Dragons Abreast", a group of women ranging in age between 35 and 75, who had all survived breast cancer. All were dressed in pink t-shirts to draw attention to the cause of breast cancer. I started talking to the group and found out that some of the group’s members have travelled to various destinations all across the world to promote the cause of breast cancer awareness. Some of them have recently travelled to Capetown, South Africa, and this year a number of them are participating in an international dragonboat race in Singapore.

Dianne, their media coordinator, explained that they race to promote awareness among younger women to participate in early breast cancer detection programs. She added that in the past many women were told to avoid strenuous upper body exercise after breast cancer surgery. The paddlers at Dragons Abreast on the other hand firmly believe that the exercise involved in dragonboating actually has significant health benefits, both physical and psychological.

One of the team members, a lady by the name of Pam, had recently participated in an initiative called UpKili: an event where 30 breast cancer survivors and their friends climbed Mount Kilimanjaro to raise funds for Breast Cancer Research. In total more than US$120,000 was raised. Pam told me that she ended up having an accident during the climb and had to be rescued and taken down by a team of sherpas. Nevertheless this was one of the most exciting events in her life time, being part of this unique initiative for this great cause. And despite her injury she ended up taking part in a safari even after the climb was finished. I was really happy to have connected with this group of courageous women who had overcome so much and are now taking their inspiring message to audiences across the world.

The official opening ceremony was going to be held at noon so I raced back into the main festival area. A group of politicians and dignitaries was assembled on the stage and after a number of speeches and welcoming remarks by the President of the Toronto Chinese Business Association, the ribbon cutting ceremony was held. A performance of the Lion Dance and the Eye-Dotting Ceremony of the Lions provided an authentic Chinese cultural flavour to this event. This was followed up by the Waist Drum Dance, organized and performed by the Chinese Professional Women Association of Canada.

I then strolled the grounds and by this time the food court was quite busy. Every special event has its special characters and just after the opening ceremony I saw this group of people strolling determinedly across the lawn, obviously a dragon boat team that had just finished their race. Their leader was pulling an imitation version of a multi-functional dragon boat that was spewing smoke, blowing soap bubbles and blaring Michael Jackson dance tunes through the built-in stereo system. The group was marching at a pretty fast clip and I had a hard time trying to keep up with them and taking pictures at the same time. Finally they settled in the shade by the water and I asked one of the team members what this was all about. He explained that his team was called "Kindred Spirits" and that they represented the Kinsmen in Bolton. They had indeed finished their last race of the day and were now ready to relax and celebrate, and their special miniature dragon boat was a symbol of their determination to have a great party.

The colourful characters kept coming. I ran into two bagpipers from the Ontario Provincial Police Commissioner’s Own “Pipes and Drums”, a group of uniformed and civilian volunteers, who make appearances as ambassadors for the O. P.P. all throughout Ontario. These two gentlemen were just enjoying a pizza when I came up to them and asked them about their upcoming performance. They said they would be performing at about 1 pm, “somewhere in the shade”. Both of them were dressed up in full Scottish regalia, kilt and all, wearing the colours of the Ontario tartan.

Of course I also had to ask them the key question that is burning on everybody’s lips when they encounter a Scottish bagpiper. The officer kindly responded and said that the answer totally depends on the question:

- If the question is “What is worn under the kilt?”, the answer is “nothing is worn under the kilt, everything is in great working order”.

- If the question is “What are you wearing under the kilt?”, the appropriate answer is “socks and shoes”.

That meant my curiosity remained unsatisfied, but I got a chuckle out of the answers which no doubt must have been given dozens of times before to deflect nosy queries. I only had about another hour on the island before I had to head back to the city, so I put on my inline skates and started gliding southwards through the gardens on Toronto Island which feature a fountain, several flower beds and reflecting ponds. South of there are locker rooms, the Island Bicycle Rental building as well as the Island Pier. West of this area is Manitou Beach, a sandy haven for avid sun worshippers. Further west from there is Hanlan’s Point, Toronto’s only clothing optional beach.

I had to get back to the mainland, so I started rollerblading in the other direction, eastwards towards Ward’s Island. Along the way I found numerous spots with canals, inlets and sailboats set against the backdrop of the city, indeed some of the best places to take in Toronto’s skyline in perfect serenity. Ward’s Island itself houses a community of permanent residents, many of them artists.

I ran into one of these talented folks, who was fabric painting on t-shirts in the middle of the lawn. Christopher Pinheiro is a Trinidadian-born multi-disciplinarian artist. His description on the Toronto Islands website lists him as “actor, dancer, model, masquerader, soup-chef and textstylist”. We had a brief chat about his fabric art as he was just painting a red maple leaf which would later be adorned by yellow and blue sections. Christopher is obviously an important member of the Toronto Islands artist community.

At 2:15 I caught the ferry back to the mainland from Wards Island together with probably another 20 or 30 travellers. Arrival on the other side was a different story: the ferry docks and the public area outside the ferry buildings were completely full with hundreds of people, lining up all the way out to Front Street. I guess everyone wanted to catch a piece of the Toronto Islands on this gorgeous day…

For the entire article including photos please visit

travelandtransitions. com/stories_photos/dragonboats2006.htm

The great coffee beverage .. some history and what really goes into it

Have you ever really thought about what goes into a good cup of coffee? If you are anything like me you probably haven’t, for the simply reason you are too engrossed unwinding and enjoying the rich aroma and taste to bother with any of the technical side of the brew. The deepest I have ever gone when I have a cup of the rich umber beverage in my hand is to let my mind drift off with the floating steam.

The information on the wrapper might tell you a bit about the beans you’re drinking but believe me there is so much more to the story of how coffee drinking came to be so popular the world over. The history behind this little roasted and ground bean is fascinating. From the pre-Columbian tribes to the modern drive-thru and Starbuck’s cafes, coffee has grown from a simple discovery to total sophistication.

One of the little know facts about coffee is that is was first discovered by the South American Indians well before the discovery of the New World. Its stimulating properties were soon recognised as it helped the tribe’s people to deal with the high altitudes, and for this alone it became very popular. Then after the Spanish Conquistadores arrived the green seeds (commonly but incorrectly called coffee beans) found their way into western history and the coffee culture was extended across the globe.

When the Spanish came to the New World, they were searching for cities of gold but instead they discovered other abundant resources and new products that they could trade with the whole of Europe. Chocolate and tobacco as well as coffee rapidly became sort after and famous throughout the continent.

History tells us that the first cafeteria was opened in 1475 in Constantinople at a place called Kiva Han. Following its success more coffee houses sprang up, serving hot coffee beverages with a side of gossip or politics. The coffee club was born.

Popularity of the beverage among the common folk didn’t reach any significance until the Americans came along. The reason for this was that most workers were just too busy to sit around sipping their favourite coffee brew while discussing the great discoveries of the “Age of Reason”. However once the general population were introduced to the new hot beverage the custom spread like wild fire. This event saw methods of mass production develop which fortunately made coffee more affordable. Now nearly everyone could afford a daily indulgence.

Instant coffee became popular during the World Wars even though it had been developed much earlier. Initially the unrefined method of boiling the coffee down until the oils solidified out, left it with a burnt and rancid taste which put most people off. It wasn’t unit a new method for extracting the oils was developed that the instant variety of coffee which is fairly similar to what we have now became a popular choice.

This is just a small glimpse of the history of how the coffee beverage has travelled around the world to where you are now.

Cape town in 48 hours

So you’re in Cape Town on a whistle-stop tour and want to try squeeze as much of the Mother City as possible into your 48 hours?

You could spend a year in this beautiful city and still not have seen and experienced all it has to offer, but let’s see what we can do to make sure you don’t miss out on the ‘Must Sees’ - especially for first-timers.

The idea of this itinerary is to whet your appetite so that you return as soon as possible to do Cape Town full justice!

On landing at Cape Town International Airport, let’s for argument’s sake assume your flight lands at 8 a. m., you need to retrieve your luggage, collect your hire car, and head directly to the Table Mountain Cable Way, above Cape Town’s city centre. Leave the bulk of your luggage and simply take a back pack with money, a camera, sunblock and a warm top. Your early arrival should ensure that you don’t need to queue for very long. The ride up in the revolving cable car offers your first real look at the sprawling city and surrounds – with a unique 360 degree perspective. Once you arrive at the top you can enjoy breakfast at the restaurant, taking the time to fill in postcards bragging to your friends that you are having your first meal in the Cape on top of one of the world’s most famous and imposing landmark mountains!

Don’t linger too long over that second cup of coffee – you need to be down by midday to go into the CBD for a spot of shopping and exploring. Depending on your personal tastes you may enjoy browsing and gift-buying at the famous Green Market Square (open daily in the week and on Saturday mornings), or you might prefer to take in an exhibition at one of the local art galleries and museums. The main Cape Town Iziko Museum is set in the heart of the historical Cape Company Gardens which in themselves provide a lovely setting for a stroll.

Next, head to the Victoria & Albert Waterfront for a luscious lunch at one of the many eateries overlooking the harbour. More shops beckon and you could spend all day exercising your credit card, but leave enough time for a late afternoon drive around the Atlantic Seaboard. Enjoy sundowners at trendy Camps Bay or beautiful Clifton – both have exquisite white beaches lapped by aquamarine waters, and numerous pavement cafes overlooking them.

This area is ideal for booking your first night’s accommodation as there are numerous luxury self catering apartments, villas and guest houses – be sure you’ve booked ahead to avoid disappointment. Once you’ve checked in and freshened up, head out for a dinner and some gambling fun at Grand West Casino – a 15 minute drive from the CBD. If you prefer to dance, there are some great little clubs in town, or you could head back to the Waterfront and enjoy a movie or attend the Theatre on the Bay right in Camps Bay which almost always has an excellent production on the go. Once again, plan and book in advance. Local newspapers and Time Out magazine will have details on what’s on entertainment-wise.

No matter how tired you are when you finally fall into bed, set the alarm clock so that you’re on the road early. If you’re really enthusiastic you may even catch the sunrise! In any event, take a leisurely drive, against the daily traffic, to Hout Bay. Here you can enjoy a delicious breakfast and perhaps browse around the harbour-side shops and market. Then get your camera ready for a spectacular drive – over Chapman’s Peak which surely offers the most breath-taking sea and mountain views anywhere. At the end of the pass is Noordhoek. If you’ve planned ahead you can go for an hour’s horse ride along the wide expanse of the beautiful beach. Make sure you’re back behind the wheel in time to take the winding coastal road past Kommetjie, via Scarborough. Here you can enjoy a delectable lunch followed by a walk up to the viewing point of the tip of the African continent.

Later, drive on into Simon’s Town and be fascinated by the Jackass Penguin Colony at Boulders and Seaforth Beaches. The recently built Penguin Centre offers a mine of information on these curious and cute sea birds.

Next, head along the coastal road out of Muizenberg, along Strandfontein to Stellenbosch in the heart of the Cape Wine Route. Book in at Spier Wine Estate and dine at the wildly unusual and exquisite Moya, Spier’s own restaurant. Moya often has live music, dance or theatre productions. Find out in advance and book! We guarantee a good night’s sleep will follow…

Okay, so we’re cheating and are adding a couple more hours, but really, can you blame us? You can’t leave before cramming in a visit to at least two of the local wine estates before driving back to Cape Town International Airport in time to bid the city a sad farewell.

As the plane takes off and you get a final glimpse of Cape Town we know you’ll be promising to be back as soon as you possibly can.

Breakdown recovery services an invaluable service for anyone who drives

Breakdown recovery services are an invaluable service to anyone who drives. You are entitled to use a breakdown recovery service if your vehicle will not start or the vehicle stops working on the road. Most vehicles are repairable on the roadside but on the rare occasion that yours isn’t fixable; your vehicle will be towed either to your home or to the garage.

All breakdown recovery services offer roadside assistance where rescue vehicles are sent to wherever you have broken down, relay which takes the driver and passenger to their destination, and home start to help start your car at home. Higher and more expensive levels of cover may offer a courtesy car or accommodation if you are away from home if you travel regularly abroad it is well worth considering taking out breakdown cover for this.

Some companies offer cover for motorbikes and minibuses as well as cars. For motorcycles this is useful if you suffer from a puncture, have a flat battery or run out of fuel miles away from the service station. Recovery assistance is generally provided by trained mechanics or by a member of the local

garage.

Do check if your cover is for the person or the vehicle. You may not be covered if someone else drives your car. Also it is important to check if there is a maximum amount of callouts allowed or if there are limitations on the cost of parts or mechanical expertise charged. Do you travel long distances regularly?

Some recovery services offer a long distance vehicle recovery service. Does your policy give priority to anyone who may be in a vulnerable position such as lone female drivers? It is important to check the exclusions section of your cover. Some companies may not cover your vehicle if you breakdown within a certain radius of your home or if you lose your keys. Do shop around before committing yourself.

Blackjack learn how to become a champion

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Learn How to Play and Win Blackjack after practicing some basic steps that can be learn easily. Blackjack is one of the more easier card games that you will come across, and its basic concept is simple: get 21 as the sum of your cards or get as close to 21 but higher than the sum of your opponent's cards.

1) Do not try and reach 21.
Yes. Even though blackjack is also commonly called 21, trying to reach 21 with every hand is an amateurish move. You will, most certainly, lose the hand. Statistical research conducted has shown that the odds of reaching 21 is lesser than the odds of getting more than 21.

2) Try and Beat the Dealer.
Since blackjack is a one on one battle: you versus the dealer, focus on beating the dealer. Instead of trying to get 21, try to guess what hand the dealer will receive and accordingly play your hand. Remember that the dealer at a regular casino or even at an online casino has to stop taking more cards if the cards on the table add up to 17. But if their cards add up to 16 or any number less, they will have to take another card.

3) Look at the dealer's card facing up.
The only way to play is to look at the dealer's card facing up. If it is a low card like a two or anything up to a 6 or 7, try and get a high number combination. If it’s a 9 or 10, the odds are high that he has a 10 underneath or at least he will be forced to take another card. So, reach anything up to 20 or 21, but its better to even stop at a 18 or 19 and hope they will over-run the sum of 21.

How Blackjack is Played at a Casino:
1) Place your bet on the table.
Each blackjack table has a set beginning bet and this ranges from a dollar to ten or twenty for the high-rollers crowd. This is the amount of chips you will have to put down, and this signals to the dealer that you are taking part in the next round.

2) You will get a card.
The dealer then deals a card to you and all the other players who have also placed a bet down.

3) The dealer places a face-up card in front.
This is one of the cards of the dealer, and since its facing up, all the players have a chance to judge the outcome of his cards.

4) The dealer deals the second card.
The dealer, then, deals you and all the players an additional card. This is the time to have a look at them and at the dealer's card and decide whether you wish to get another card.

5) The dealer asks.
The dealer now turns to each player and asks them if they wish to receive another card. If you wish it, the dealer will give you a card. Then, the dealer will ask you again. Note that the dealer will be with you until you decide that you do not want to receive any more cards. Then, the dealer moves on to the next player, then, the next, and so on.

6) The dealer starts playing.
Only when all the players have said that they do not want any more cards, does the dealer start playing. He takes cards until he has reached 17 or above. Then, he has to stop.

7) The dealer opens the cards.
When he's done, the dealer first reveals all his cards. Then, he moves from one player to the other opening their cards. After revealing each player's hands, the dealer pays out the bet or takes the bet away according to who has won and who has lost.